Love, Marriage, Divorce……Don’t Loose Hope

I was never scared of (Selfless) Love but I was always scared of losing a person and that feeling you have when they were around. I was negative about the idea of two souls and one life. Made for each other concept is way too gross for me. Since we are living in the world where there are types of love. You can choose it according to your profession, comfort, style, routine, and health. Marriage is no more an institution, it’s more like a burden which we accept once, under the pressure of society or maybe because all our friends are getting married and we feel, it’s like getting a new trend dress which you can call a must have but soon you realize you can change your dress but not your hubby or in-laws. Getting married should not be a compulsion rather it should be an individualistic decision.

 

I Thought It Was My Mistake

“We were together in college and let’s call him ‘X’, we were good friends. He was short-tempered and I used to like his Angry Looks. One fine day, he came to me and proposed me.Since there was nothing that I don’t like about him, I said yes. He was happy, really happy. I had words with my parents and they already knew him, they were more than fine and the case was same with his parents. Soon, before we realized, we were Husband and Wife. We were in love and he was protective and loving. It was like dream come true. We spend a very first year of our wedding very happily. Soon he was coming back to his original self. I realized he was too short (hot) tempered; he started abusing me and throws whatever first comes in his hand on me. For a quite good time I was in a state of shock, I was unable to understand that someone who is so loving can turn into a ruthless and cruel man.

Day and Night, I kept thinking where I went wrong. He made me realize that I am one piece of shit and he did a huge favor to me by marrying me. Meanwhile, I got pregnant and he was never around. I gave birth to a baby girl and he never looked at our child. I thought life is bad, the father of my child was neither affectionate to me nor to his own daughter. Soon I realized Life can be darker when he started abusing me and my daughter as well. He wanted me to get out of his life. I tried everything, I cooked great food, I wore best dress, made our home clean and peaceful, always on my toes to his service but nothing worked. I was sitting in a park on a gloomy evening, I saw ladies of all age group laughing, cracking jokes, sharing their recipes and I realized that I forgot someone, who needs me the most, who is my best friend and it was none other than me. I gave my marriage the last try but it did not work. I left his home initially, it was tough to face the world but now it’s getting better.

It’s been 3 years since I left that pathetic life and honestly, I never missed him. I didn’t even ask a single penny from him. After leaving his home, I came to my parent’s house, after spending a week there, my sister-in-law(Brother’s wife) started pushing me to back to my hubby’s place. I was adamant about not going back and then a phase started which was darker than I expected. I was turned into full-time maid, my sister-in-law stated it simply that it’s not easy to feed my daughter and me as income is limited and expenditure is more, so they dismissed the maid and I worked as full-time maid in my own house. Since all of this was hard to accept but I was happy cause my daughter was safe. But soon I find myself in wrong hands again. My so-called sister-in-law accused my daughter as a retard. They refused to send her to kinder garden and asked me to opt for charitable school for special Children. I noticed my daughter and realized, I am the one who is in the wrong place. My daughter observed me working, behaving and being treated likes a maid. Since she’s my part she felt the same way about herself. My decision of leaving my husband’s home and coming to my parental house is like coming back to hell.

My brother never took my favor and since my parents were dependent on my brother, their lips were sealed too. I was a maid for free but now I needed money for my daughter’s education. Lack of confidence doesn’t make my kid a case of a special kid. I left my brother’s house and my sister-in-law was happy. Nobody stopped me, not even my parents. I rented one-room apartment at outskirts of town because rent was less. I was Graduate with no experience. I started working as a receptionist in a beauty parlor with 5k salary per month; this was the toughest time of my life. After working there for a month, I got an offer from another parlor with 7k salary. I badly needed money, I accepted the offer. Life was on track again, my daughter got admission in public school and she was performing well. With the help of Spa and Parlor owner, I learned bridal makeup and I started doing it. Within three years I earned a good clientage and now I am known as makeup artist. Now my daughter is 7 years old and she’s in the hostel. I live in 2 BHK flat, where I have a small set up for special makeup appointments. I earn a good living and sometimes my parents come and stay for a night or two. Life is smooth. Some relatives keep forcing me for second marriage but now I don’t care about others. I love myself and my daughter. All I want is to give my daughter a positive thinking and I want her to stand on her feet before getting married”

Nishtha, 33

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