Regret Confession

We all need one chance to go back to times and alter that one moment which still makes us feel shameful. Something that we did in past or something that we did not do in past still gives us that feeling of emptiness. I know we all are helpless but sharing can give us a little bit of comfort. People or situation in our life are our choices and we are not always right, we made mistakes sometimes blunders, faced a lot, have seen double faces, passed through betrayals, seen ourselves getting on our knees, cried all night long, missed someone, scared of being misjudged or truly judged, health crises

After all this, only one thing stays back

Regrets…..

Here I want to share few regrets of
my friends, there those moments when they tried too hard or
they kept it totally loose and today it’s a haunting memory of their life.

She died in pain because of me

After marriage I came to a new house with new rules, it was like rebirth. My mother-in-law, very conservative and orthodox. She kept scolding me for everything from cooking to housekeeping. I was really annoyed but did not had the courage to open my mouth in front of her but in result to this I started hating her. With every scolding, anger kept on accumulating inside me. After twelve years of my marriage, she fell sick and I was at her service 24*7. After few months we got to know she’s suffering from incurable disease and I was taking care of her like a nurse with two kids and other household chores. But she still abuses me and slowly my sympathy for her vanished. Doctors asked me to give her a prescribed meds whenever attack is there but that night she was scolding me for not cleaning her and she was dirty from last 10 minutes. I was so pissed off that I just wiped her dirt off and went to sleep in other room. That night she again got that attack and i did not realize when she yelled and screamed my name but in morning I found her dead in her bed. Till the date I can’t forget those eyes. I am so sorry to myself that after doing beyond my capacity I can’t save her life.”

– Sayunkta, 48

I married a demon

It was an arranged marriage, we met at a cousin’s wedding and his parents contacted my parents. They came home to see me; we went to long drive for 15 minutes and then my parents thought its yes from my side. Within a month we got married, at very first night I realized he’s not normal in bed. He was a sex maniac, for one month I was with him and he kept on torturing me. He was obsessed with my body; he wanted me to go under the knife for breast enlargement, hip implant, nose job and many more. I was 24 and I felt useless, all he wanted was his satisfaction and pleasure. He never cared about me and my feelings. I regret marrying a person whom I barely know and letting him torture me for 6 months. I regret a society where having a girlfriend and boyfriend is a taboo but giving away yourself to a total stranger is fine. I am divorced but emotionally injured now.”

– Hidden, 27

It’s too late to go back

We were good friends, he was the guy who was caring, supportive and very protective. He went to overseas for further studies and while leaving he proposed me. I know he was serious and I liked him too. We had a great relationship; he treated me like an angel. I was happy but the long-distance relationship, my job ,and different time zones pulled me back and when he proposed me for marriage, I acted like a practical pretty ass and told him to take a break. He tried to get in touch several times but I turned my stone heart mode on and ignored all his messages. Today I am engaged to another guy and our relation is bumpy and rocky. We are not at all romantic, I guess we are a practical couple but now I realize my mistake and I miss him. I regret leaving the best guy because of few differences.”

– Silvi, 28

I let her go

She was  the love of my life, we were freak, childish, stupid but really happy together. I met her in night club and she was a foreign exchange student. She was from Switzerland; we had a great time for one year. I was crazily in love with her; I know my rest of life going to be great if she’s there with me. One evening I came back home and she told me the embassy rejected her visa extension appeal. It was like a big shock and I stayed mum for a while. She has to go back and I had my studies in between because I was also on student visa. She asked me to go to Switzerland but I refused. I was thinking about my future and I let her go. Today whenever I sit alone and close my eyes, she holds my hand and sit next to me but when I open my eyes she’s nowhere. I regret losing the love of my life.”

– Omesh, 28

Colorless youth

I’d rather regret the things I have done than regrets the things I haven’t done – Lucille Ball. That is exactly how I feel whenever I think of all I regret; it’s mostly about things I didn’t do, places I didn’t visit, Friends I didn’t keep in touch with, courses I didn’t do etc. I did everything to prove myself to other but actually, I realized this later that I should do everything to please myself first. Why I didn’t have a boyfriend in college time, why I didn’t go to disc when I had a chance and why I stopped myself from all the fun. Today I have no medal or award for all the lost fun. I regret for not following my heart or you can say I wasn’t aware of myself. I could have done a lot better if I had known how to have fun in life. I regret taking others and myself too seriously.”

– Kalpna & Priya 33

This post was last modified on May 7, 2018 6:22 pm

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